Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Who's Your Daddy (Mommy)?

It's a pretty sad state of affairs when I felt such an overwhelming sense of pride last night at the grocery store because I kept within the budget to the PENNY.

Of course, this is not taking into account The Wretched Grocery Disaster of April 2007, from which forth we will only refer to as "The Incident."

Let's take a walk back in time....

Two weeks ago, my DH hands me the debit card and says, "PLEASE keep it around $210." Sure, I think. I had taken the time earlier in the day to write down all of the things we need (hey, I've been doing the grocery shopping for 8 years, I know everything we need by now). I even divided into separate columns like: Perishables, Meats, Dairy, Non-Perishables, Boxed Stuff, Toiletries, yada yada yada. (Can anyone say OCD?)

There's a place here in Orygon called The Grocery Outlet. They have some pretty amazing deals. I thought: "I'm going to go there first with my little pocket calculator and get the non-perishables and toilietries at a screamin' price, THEN I'll go to the grocery store and get the rest." In my heavily medicated state, I'm thinking: "I'll get ALL this stuff and come home $25-50 UNDER budget and DH will be so happy and proud."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Keep in mind, I tried this tactic once before: we'll refer to it as The Wretched Grocery Disaster of 2004. But, hey, I think, I can do this. I'm smart. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

So, I've got my little bags of goodies (on which I've saved bundles) but when I get to the car, I realize that I've locked my effing keys inside.

Splendid.

So, I call DH, who's outside and not answering the phone. Tried the in-laws, but their line was busy. So, I find a coat hanger and try to jimmy the lock but with my luck, I can just see myself shattering the window. I give up. Finally DH calls, none too pleased and shows up (again, none too pleased) to unlock the car.

And still, I have to go to the regular grocery store. It is 9pm already. So, I go on my merry way, still (trying) not to let the night's disaster get to me (good luck with that, Jen). I get my goodies at the normal grocery store only to discover I've gone TWENTY dollars OVER budget.

Let's just say DH was even less than pleased when I arrived home and I somehow ended up with less food.

So, yesterday, I went to ONE grocery store, whipped out my industrial sized ten-key and punched in everything as I went. I got oodles and oodles of food and kept it within the budget to the PENNY. Did I mention to the PENNY? The cashier told me I was amazing.

I felt amazing as I loaded groceries into the car and headed home, slapping the dashboard and singing along ala Tom Cruise in Jerry McGuire.

I haven't had a lot to feel proud about lately and like I said earlier, this is kinda sad. But, hey I'll take it where I can get it.

One small step of JenKind, one giant leap for Society as a Whole.

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