Writing and Reading Romances in the Age of Relationships

So, this post isn’t exactly related to the craft, but it does have to do with how reading and writing romance affects our relationships, an issue that I have always wondered about.Like many of you, romance has been a part of my heart and soul for as long as I can remember. All of the stories I created, whether in my head or on paper, had some romantic element to them. It was the uumph, the glue, the substance of my story. Sure, I could write a mystery or a horror tale, but why not throw together a couple who yearns for each other to make things interesting.When I first started reading romances, I was a newlywed. I can still remember going to the bookstore, glancing around to make sure no was looking and then sneaking into the romance aisle like a wraith. I blushed like a school girl when I saw the bodice-ripping covers and half-naked men gracing some of the covers.Eventually, I got over my self-consciousness (obviously). Now, I stand proudly in the romance aisle, giving whomever dares challenge me the big ol’ hairy eyeball. Usually it’s all in my head, but it makes me feel tough anyway.What I noticed, when I began reading and writing romances, was that I started comparing the heroes in the stories to my own husband. My hubby is my center; he’s my rock. But, his idea of a romantic evening includes watching NASCAR. Sitting in my big armchair, my heart went pitter-pat as the hero professed his undying love to the heroine, all the while reciting a laundry list of all of the cute, wonderful things he loved about her. Then, I would turn to look at my husband, lying sprawled out on the couch, barely conscious, dirty from the garage, scratching himself. .lThere were so many times I almost brained him with the book. Or lamp. Whatever.It got to the point that when we argued, I would think, "Well, John Q. Hero wouldn’t say that to me!" Which is asinine and ridiculous, I know, but, hey, I was twenty. Cut me some slack.In my naivety, I considered ceasing the genre altogether. Of course, I couldn’t do that anymore than I could stop breathing. I mean, come on. Really?In the end, I came to this glaringly obvious realization: romance novels are, largely, written by women. Women who, largely, want their men to understand them in a profound way, to talk to them on a deep level, and last but certainly not least, knock their proverbial socks off in bed.I’m long since past the newlywed phase and I have come to an understanding and acceptance with my husband. When I write now, I can appreciate the differences and similarities between my heroes and my sweet hubby.

To Outline or Not to Outline. Is That the Question?

I'm new to the "biz."Well, I'm new to the business side of writing, that is, the support groups, critiquing partners, publishers, query letters, ahem, finishing my novel. I've been crafting love stories in my brain since I could figure out how to get Barbie to catch Ken's attention. But, in all of those years, in all of seemingly endless hours I've spent pouring my words into story form, I can honestly say that I've never completed anything.Each one of my stories ended mid-way. I'm gangbusters on beginnings. I love to start projects. I'm a habitual list maker. The more grandious and complex the list, the happier I get. Of course, nine times out of ten, I don't get past number two, but hey, I had fun creating the list.When I first joined RWA, a scant eleven months ago, I began hearing different writers talk about the use of outlines. I'd come to realize that there are two schools of thought on the subject: the "fly by the seaters" who just sit down and go and the "planners" who map everything from eye color to the minutie of plot.Oh, how I wanted to be one of those '"fly by the seaters." In fact, I had been one for my entire writing career, such as it was. I have a manuscript (my first official novel) that is still unfinished. It's approximately 650 pages long and I've still got a quarter left to write. This is what happens when I try to be spontaneous.When I started the second official novel, mind you, I had actually decided to take the plunge, so to speak, and try the novelty of an outline on for size (oh, how I love my clichés). My outline was thirty-five pages of narrative, but it went from start to (gasp) finish. And, while my story line changed slightly, I found I was able to move from Point A to Point B and eventually to Point C.Now, I am a big advocate of The Outline.Of course, this doesn't work for everyone. Some say that it takes away from the creative process, which I can respect. Thankfully, this isn't the case for me. It works like a roadmap, a veritable guide, that helps me actually complete what I set out to do.When I started the third official novel, I decided that I wanted a more concise outline, a bare bones roadmap. I recently purchased "Your First Novel" by Ann Rittenberg and Laura Whitcomb. In Chapter Two, there is a section devoted to creating an outline. I'm sure that this isn't an original idea, but it seemed damned clever to me.The gist of it is that you have all of these ideas worked out in your head, whether they're just bits and pieces or a full-blown scene. Taking a stack of index cards, you write down each scene or idea in your story. Then, take the cards and place them in chronological order. There you have your barebones. If something seems amiss, you can switch it around or figure out another scene to tie it together.I have to admit, I hemmed and hawed for the better part of a month on this outline. Finally, I sat my butt down and performed the exercise. To my astonishment, I pumped out the entire outline to my third official novel in less than thirty minutes. It flows better than the second and everything makes damned good sense.