Here I sit, on a bitterly cold morning, the remnants of snow days past sitting outside my window. The holiday season is here, the house is toasty, merriment abounds.
Bull.
Why you ask? Oh, I'll tell you.
One word: Synopsis
Or rather, Mother Bitching Effing Synopsis.
When I finished my first manuscript, I thought, "Hey, I did it! The hard part is over!"
Not so much.
First, there was the revisions. A new brand of hell designed specifically for me. WTF? So, I pulled my hair for a few hours and went to work. Ha, you bastard! I have conquered thee! After I commenced my much deserved happy dance, I sat down at my computer and thought, "Now it's time for the query letter and synopsis." This should be the easy part, right?
I repeat: Not so much.
For the last two days I have labored at my computer, with which I have a love/hate relationship as it is the medium for the crapola that flows out of my brain. Charlotte Dillon, here I come. I have printed about 50 pages of "how tos" for this new and thoroughly daunting new task. I have created 10 pages of dog crap masquarading as a synopsis.
How can this be so difficult?
I wrote a 380 page manuscript for crying out loud. How hard can it really be to type out 2 little pages? Perhaps it is because this is what will get my proverbial foot in the door. If I ass out on the synopsis, I can kiss my manuscript goodbye. Well, that's probably a little melodramatic, but hey, I'm desperate.
So, in closing, please, please, please someone put me out of my misery.
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2 comments:
In many ways, the synopsis is harder than the book--you have to condense all that information down to a few pages AND emotionally connect with the agent/editor/judge.
I really like the book "The Dreaded Synopsis".
B.
I hate suckopses. I rant about them all the time (I rant about a lot of things, but suckopses are usually first and foremost). I have no words of wisdom or ways to put you out of your misery (although tequila comes to mind for some reason...).
Wallow in the knowledge that I feel your pain. I'm with you, sister. Now get your ass back to work and bang out that suckopsis.
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